Anyway, I have learned so much from this experience.  I won’t miss it because I’ll definitely be chiming in on my Community page.  I just wanted to start this post by thanking Krista, and everyone who granted me an interview, and all of my family and friends who have supported me in this project, read my blogs, and been my cheerleaders.

I thought I’d talk about Christmas trees today.  My husband’s been on a trip, so I have been able to load up on “Fa la la la Lifetime” and the Hallmark Channel.  There are a few movies about Christmas Trees, and all of the holiday movies have a moment when they light a tree, or put an angel or a star on top.

I’m not as attached to having a tree at Christmas as I used to be.  I found a small one last year that’s already decorated and sits on our hearth–perfect for our small space.  I always pull out a gold metallic tree with glitter and stars for whatever desk I find myself spending the most time at.  I probably would have settled for Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree even before all the kids waved their hands and made it picture perfect.

I’ve put up a few lights, and store-bought gifts have been minimized this year.  I’m focusing on spending time with family and friends, and setting goals for the New Year.  But I’m no Scrooge.  Over the next couple of days, I’ll listen to all of my holiday CDs at least once more, watch all of my Rankin and Bass stop motion videos, and of course, the real Grinch (30-minute cartoon, Chuck Jones, 1966–nothing else comes close.  Sorry Jim Carrey.) And I’ll arrange my lovely packages under our little tree.

Merry Christmas.

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Even though it’s bad for my eyes, my favorite use of candles is to read by them–it seems mysterious and romantic.  I’ve also loved to use them to fill a non-working fireplace on occasion–it offers dimension and just as much drama as a traditional fire can.

Scents are just as much a part of our decor as other elements, because like architectural and furniture style,  and color, scents are another way to define who we are through the atmosphere in our homes.  I feel the same way about candles that I do about fragrances that I choose for my lotions and colognes.  I don’t want the house to smell like a vanilla or cookie candle.  I’ll bake cookies for that.  I like clean fragrances around me, such as verbena, linen, and ocean. Nothing too fruity, floral or heavy.  Lily of the valley is divine, but gardenia and rose are just too heavy in candles and perfumes–I’d rather just have a vase of roses.

Using candles the really old fashioned way–for light–hasn’t lost it’s appeal.  Some chandeliers still use real candles, and holiday luminaries are still popular, although people are tending more toward the battery operated luminaries which won’t get blown out by the wind or snuffed out by the rain.

Whether it’s to light the way, create atmosphere, celebrate on a birthday cake, remember a loved one, or fill a room with your favorite scent, here’s hoping we’ll all light a candle or two this holiday.

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But I thought I would briefly talk about the rest of her story today, and why I’m thinking of it as Christmas draws near this week.  Basically, she hired yet another contractor to work on her kitchen with a similar experience–a completely ruined space.  I don’t have all the details of that, but she was then approached by a design show on cable television, the basis of which was that the family that starred in the show wanted to focus on helping people that had been wronged by contractors, because they had themselves had their entire home destroyed in that way.

It looked like Amy’s rescue had finally arrived, in the form of someone who understood, someone who cared, and someone who would finally do right by her.  My husband and I were invited to the reveal of this kitchen and all seemed to be great.  But it was not, as it turns out.  There were several things that were left incomplete (electrical hookups among them), and they almost got Amy to sign some kind of release that would have nullified any responsibility for those repairs.  Once again phone calls went unanswered.  The episode featuring Amy’s kitchen will not air. And her kitchen is still unusable.

I’m thinking of this because so many of us are being forced to look beyond material substance at this time, and will continue to have to do that long after the Christmas season has gone.  I think of areas of my own living space that I am so frustrated with (the bathroom from 1970, the pock-marked linoleum kitchen floor) and it seems like I will never get to realize my dream home.

But as I said before, people like Amy inspire me.  She said she is determined to see that she gets her home to a certain point–perhaps not to the extent she originally planned, but as far as she can with the resources she has.

So with that in mind, I’ve looked at more small ways I can make our apartment the kind of home that I can feel good about living in.  I focus not on practical steps I can take with decorating and sprucing up, but on filling it with love, and cherishing the more permanent aspects of home, like the life I share with my husband, my work as a writer, and all the joy that’s out there every day in which to partake.  I wish Amy the best progress in the New Year, and I endeavor to make 2010 a good one as well.

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So I’m going to confess.  I try not to use words like “fake” or even “synthetic.” But yes, I have gone into Michael’s and purchased flowers that are not real.  There.  I’ve said it. David Hicks is probably spinning in his grave. But it has to be done, this use of silk flowers.  Granted, some of them are quite hideous.  But I love the white ones I chose for the special blue vase I kept from my anniversary a few years back.  My husband chose a beautiful arrangement of white roses and lilies of the valley that year.  The card brought me to tears: “I can’t give you the moon and the stars just yet, so these will have to do for now.”  I loved that the arrangement was elegant and unexpected.  I think the silk ones I chose are a lovely homage, even just the two of them.

The question of silk vs. real seems to be a bigger deal in terms of bridal arrangements than anything for the home.  There is also the issue of price, and when we’re talking about bridal bouquets, some silk arrangements can apparently be a lot more expensive.

But I’ve already been a bride (mine were real, by the way), and I’m not above using other types of silk in my home–even a well-made silk tree (not for Christmas!). So to the flower snobs out there who have the money to invest and the time to spend keeping up with the proverbial Jones’s, I say more power to you.  I’ll be in the silk aisle at the craft store.

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I already had a little idea of what was involved since I had spoken with him by phone to talk about interviewing him for a blog post.  But clearly the work he does goes much deeper than design choices. Through his workshops, Andrew teaches people  “to stimulate color intuition and ignite creative awareness” by providing insight that informs not only interior design, but wardrobe, business and life as well.

Without giving too much away (you’ll just have to click on his name above to find out more details), Andrew is actually a color intuitive, or coach.  His work actually includes life coaching in one sense.

So I actually learned quite a bit about myself based on my favorite color (purple), the colors I’m wearing today (purple and orange, with black accents) and the colors I’m working with in my living room, which are a rug with shades of green and gold/yellow, the green futon cover I’m planning, along with the gold/yellow accent wall I’m getting ready to paint.

At the forefront of Andrew’s business is the work he does with corporations. “It’s really where I’m focused,” he says, explaining that at the core of this part of his business is the mission to inspire leadership at that level. He has held affirmative speaking engagements for corporate groups of over 200.

For more details on the meaning of color, you’ll have to be in touch with Andrew.  But I can tell you  that taking his workshop was one of the most powerful and revelatory experiences I’ve ever had.

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But when the couple focused their attention on the back yard, things got a little hairy, especially when it came to building a deck for themselves.  Each of them came to the project with different levels and different types of experience when it comes to building and renovation, and therefore different approaches.  A conflict ensued, but they finally found some information online that they both felt comfortable with, and have managed to complete the deck with the exception of a few last reinforcements, sanding, and sealing.

“It showed us different ways to work with each other, even when we’re that upset,” says Heather, which leaves the door open for smoother collaborations in the future.  As for the finished product, “It’s gorgeous–it makes my heart sing,” she adds. The deck is only one small part of the overall scheme, which includes a gravel layout, citrus trees, and a variety of plants.

There are probably many couples out there who have tried to complete home improvement projects together, and been sorely tried in the process.  But as Heather said, these things help us learn more about each other, and sometimes we learn what we can and can’t manage as a team.  Either way, hopefully home and hearth will prevail.

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We don’t have a formal ledge to place objects upon, or to hang stockings.  The stones just out at different depths, allowing for some single photographs and knick-knacks.

But the ghosts of apartments past remind me of some of the stunning mantles I’ve had.  I usually chose an assortment of candles and vases.  Most of the apartments I’ve lived in have been part of an older home, so I never chose really contemporary pieces.

I’m of the minimalist camp, even when it comes to adorning the mantle for the holidays. A few candles, some greenery, maybe a single strand of white lights, and a few stockings if your Christmas tradition calls for it. Some though, can just be too cluttered.

I love the idea of the mantle as photo or art gallery, both on the formal ledge and in front of the fireplace, the latter as seen in 500 Days of Summer (I loved Zoe Deschanel’s entire apartment in that movie!)

As Love to Know, a decorating and design website suggests, it’s important to keep in mind not only the architectural style of your mantle, but it’s size.  As with any other element, color can be a huge contributor as well.  Not only are there hundreds of options as far as materials (stone, marble, wood), but another great design trick is to turn a bare wall into a feature wall by setting up a mantle, no fireplace required.  For that, a gas hookup, floral arrangement, or a grouping of candles can take the place of an actual working fireplace.

Since ours is not a traditional mantle as far as decor goes, I tend to live vicariously through our friends that have them–my favorite has the greenery and lights I described earlier.  For now, Santa will have to find another way to fill out stockings.

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“There were several reasons we wanted to do this project,” explains Chuck, not the least of which was to replace the ivy ground cover that they’d inherited from the original homeowners. “With our harsh summers, it would just get burned out by the sun.”  They also discovered that the Eucalyptus tree was a fire hazard.

Since he and Ava had a hard time agreeing on a plan, the Milbournes hired a landscape architect.  Chuck quickly determined that the entire space should feature California native plants. Originally, he wanted all natives of Southern California, particularly from the Santa Monica mountains where he hikes.  A few plants that normally grow in Northern California slipped into the plan, but that was only a minor disappointment.  “I suppose I should have been a little more assertive in what I wanted,” says Chuck. An unforeseen benefit of the plants that were chosen, however, is water conservation–even during the hottest period, the plants will require a minimum of watering.

While completely unrelated to the actual landscaping plan, a parking strip just to the side of the main driveway was born as an indirect result of the decomposed granite that had been chosen by the landscape architect to cover that part of the property. “It washes out, and with the first significant rain we had after that, not only did the material itself wash out, but the dirt behind it washed away too. ” So they paved it, and it has become a great extra space for guests to park on their narrow street.

The one other thing Chuck says he would have considered more carefully on this project is the budget. “You want to be sure that your budget is not self-limiting,” he offers to anyone committing to a sizable landscaping project. “We didn’t realize how expensive landscaping–particularly hardscaping–really is.”

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But there is much more to painting than choosing a color, and I realized that if I’m going to tackle this project alone (even if it is just one wall), I’d better so some research, to enhance my limited experience.

1. Prepare for Battle – As my contractor friend Rick reminded us, preparation is key, especially when it comes to projects like painting.  This includes testing the color, which is why I’ve got those adorable little samples in four shades of gold/yellow before I decide on a final choice.  Then, basically I’ll have to make sure the wall is clean.  Luckily, there is no patching, spackling  or damage I’ll have to contend with before I start. Normally I would also have to decide on a primer, but I think I’ll cheat and choose that new Behr product with the primer already in it.
2. Flawless Finish – Unfortunately, the store I went to only carries the samples in a matte or flat finish.  If I’d bought a quart size of any of the colors, I could choose my finish for that.  Still, for a living room wall, I’ll go with an eggshell, or satin finish because that will still be easy to clean, but not too shiny for the small space.  In addition, I’ve heard that the glossier finishes show flaws more.  One of these days, when I get into my dream house, I’ll attempt one of the faux finishes I’ve seen on TV–ragging, sponging, or color washing.
3. Tools of the Trade – Even in my limited experience, I’ve learned that I’m not that good with a brush.  I don’t have a light enough touch or the knack for getting the right amount on the brush to hide brush strokes.  I”ll do the edges with a brush or a pad, but the rest is roller all the way.  I’ll probably get one with an extended handle too, just to save myself a trip up the ladder (I forgot I was on a step stool when painting in another apartment we lived in.  I was really tired, and stepped back to admire my work–only I was on the second step of the stool.  Yeah.  My tailbone took one for the team.)

I think I’m ready–at least to paint some sample patches.  Once I’ve chosen a color, I’ll grab my supplies, crank up some tunes and knock it out.  If I get into trouble, I can always call that nice lady in the paint department at the home store.

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A three-day rain storm has prevented me from knocking on doors in my own neighborhood to request photo ops of these outdoor follies, but I can tell you that my favorite displays are the simplest and most understated: two homes nearby have strung multiple strands of lights from the tops of their homes and down to form the shape of a Christmas tree.  In one case, I think they’ve actually started at the top of a tall tree in their yard; they used multicolored lights and there’s a star at the top.  It’s cool because it’s the only feature they’ve put up, and it’s on a hill, so it’s visible from several vantage points on the streets below it.  The other is outside a two-story contemporary rectangular home.  The homeowners have simply taken three or four strands of blue lights, and strung them down from a single point at the roof on one white stucco wall in the front of their home to fan out in the shape of a tree.  So classy.

And I can tell you that my least favorite were the lawns polluted with plastic figurines, mismatched lighting schemes, and so covered with lights that the house itself is hardly visible.

For what it’s worth, here’s my take on what makes holiday lighting beastly or beautiful:

1. Less is more – I just saw a guy on the news who uses a record number of lights on his home and lawn during the holidays.  Granted, if you’re part of your community’s “Candy Cane Lane,” it might be tempting to compete with the neighbors Tim Allen style to see who can make the biggest contribution to the power company.  But really, I have to be a Scrooge in this case and say that it’s best to reign it in on the light fest.
2. Color it classy – Nothing says Winter Wonderland like trim and displays of all white or all blue lights.  Multicolored lights should be kept to a minimum (preferably inside on the Christmas tree), and multiple color schemes are a no-no.
3. Cast of characters – There’s a house in our neighborhood with a plastic Santa in his sleigh drawn by reindeer on the roof, a giant inflated plastic snow globe with frosty inside on the lawn, along with a few lighted forest animals, some plastic candy canes, and some plastic Disney characters thrown in.  Seriously.  All on the same lawn.  Really, people?  I love the reindeer done in white lights.  Plastic figures are really passe, and I think Mickey and the gang should stay at the Magic Kingdom for the holidays.  But if you must do a theme on your lawn, choose one, instead of recreating the entire holiday aisle at Walmart.
4. Motion Sickness – The same guy I saw on the news who uses several miles worth of power cords for his holiday lights has also rigged the entire display via computer programming to flash and blink to the holiday music of Manheim Steamroller.  I want to call him and ask him who will hear it as they drive by, and if people can hear it inside their cars, it’s guaranteed the neighbors will be furious.  But more importantly I don’t want to be made dizzy or cross-eyed by looking at a light display, and I think most blinking and flashing should be saved for the disco.

When in doubt, don’t take my word for it, call for help.  There are dozens of services that will do the job for you, and many online tips and pre-designed themes and displays that will keep you on track.

If I seem a little Grinchly, it’s only because I want the lights down in Whoville to be their holiday best.

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